Thursday, January 05, 2006

Pat Robertson. The Holy Conduit of God.

Praise be to Pat Robertson. He is such a good Christian that he can interpret what God intends.

Like when he figured out that God was punishing New York with 9/11 because the Supreme Court had legislated Him out of schools. Clearly:
“God Almighty is lifting his protection from us.”

Then Robertson blamed Hurricane Katrina on the fact that the Academy of Arts and Sciences chose Ellen Degeneres to host the Emmys (I kid you not.)
“By choosing an avowed lesbian for this national event, these Hollywood elites have clearly invited God’s wrath. Is it any surprise that the Almighty chose to strike at Miss Degeneres’ hometown?!!!”

Now, Robertson, in his infinite wisdom, has decided that Ariel Sharon’s stroke was God's punishment because He was royally pissed off that Sharon was offering some of His land to the Palestinians.

Never mind that Sharon was enormously overweight. Or had a hole in his heart. And had a minor stroke just a week ago. Nah, that had nothing to do with Sharon being on life support today.

Obviously, this stroke had God’s handwriting all over it. In much the same way that God is torching most of Texas and Oklahoma. I mean - my God - they must have done something really awful to have all those small towns go up in smoke. What are they?
Pro-gay?

And what about that time God sent Bush's ass flying over his handlebars? Or when He crammed that peanut down George W.’s throat and caused him to black out and hit his head on the coffee table? Were those just accidents? I don’t think so! Clearly God was trying to warn us. We need to pay more attention, people!

Is it any wonder New York, San Francisco, and Los Angeles haven’t just melted off the face of the earth and all of its citizens turned to pillars of salt? I’m expecting that to happen any day now. Aren’t you?

I'd just like to leave you with a final, insane, absurdist Robertson quote. It refers to Degeneres hosting the Emmys. And honestly, you can't make this shit up.

“God already allows one awards show to promote the homosexual agenda,” Robertson declared. “But clearly He will not tolerate such sinful behavior to spread beyond the Tonys.”

11 Comments:

Blogger Balloon Pirate said...

This man has a national podium. How frightening.

Yeharr

4:11 AM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

Yet another person who makes America look really bad.

6:31 AM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger steff81 said...

I agree Pirate. It is frightening when someone with the nation's attention makes such outlandish statements. I can assure you that I do not believe God punishes the "bad people" and only blesses the "good people". Believe me, within my short life span I've fallen into both catagories and if I was completely honest it would be a little bit more of the former.

So many people tend to attach one person's skewed views of Christianity to everyone that calls himself a Christian. This is just as disturbing for Christians as for outraged Democrates. How come no one talks about some wacky Muslim or Buddest?

6:37 AM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger boni said...

Hey Steff,
I know that Robertsons doesn't speak for all Christians.
Thank goodness. And believe me, I'm sure that every
religion has their whack-out disciple that works far out of the mainstream.
It's just that Robertson is so visible, and apparently has a contract where he can't be fired for the lunacy he broadcasts. So the only thing we can do is
skewer it when it happens...
And in skewer him, I mean no disrespect for the millions of loving Christians out there.

7:55 AM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger steff81 said...

Boni,
I don't feel disrespected at all. I happen to agree with you. This guy should be called on the carpet for his statements. On this issue, I completely agree with you. Skewer away!
Steff

2:34 PM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger Balloon Pirate said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:42 PM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger Balloon Pirate said...

Well, Steff, Robertson goes beyond wacky. His speech is hateful and inflammatory. And while I agree that he doesn't speak for the majority of Christians, he speaks for enough.

He speaks for millions.

Do I exaggerate? The reason he can't get fired is because he founded the channel on which he speaks. He got the money by asking people to send it to him. And they did. In tens and twenties, but he got millions. That's power. That's a following. He has enough of a following that he at one time he ran for President. No, he never got a big following, but he was treated as a relatively serious candidate--more along the lines of Lamar Alexander than Lyndon LaRouche.

He does speak for millions, and he is not wacky. He's dangerous.

And I don't know of a Buddhist equivalent, but I could make a strong case that, in terms of rhetoric, he is equivalent to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the president of Iran, who recently claimed that the holocaust was a myth.

I am glad that he does not speak for the majority of anyone, let alone Christians. But he is a dangerous man.

Yeharr
removed and reposted to fix a typo

2:44 PM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger LaPopessa said...

http://somehistoricalperspective.blogspot.com/

4:53 PM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger United We Lay said...

Robertson is quite possibly one of the most dangerous men in America. People listen to him. He is the epitome of everything the liberals make fun of when they make fun of fundamentalist christians. But we don't make fun of him because we think he's silly, we do it because we're terrified of the power he wields. Pat Robertson or one of his cronies will be the leader of the return to fascism in the United States.

"Fascism will not return wearing swastikas and brown shirts. It's ideological inheritors will cloak themselves in the language of the Bible, they will come carrying crosses and chanting the Pledge of Allegiance." James Luther Adams

7:24 AM, January 07, 2006  
Blogger Balloon Pirate said...

As a followup to my comment above, the Washington Post made the same connection:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/01/06/AR2006010601603.html

Yes, I feel somewhat smug that I said it before them.

And I feel bad about that.

But I feel good about feeling bad, so on the whole, it's a positive.

Yeharr

8:45 PM, January 07, 2006  
Blogger Cranky Yankee said...

Steff, Can I have an example of a "whacky Buddhist?" Most xtians don't know anything about buddhism, which is at the root of most of Christ's teaching, and they often equate it with Islam or Hinduism. These are xtians flashes of brilliant ignorance.

Also, Pat Robvertson speaks for a very large segment of xtinas. Did you k ow he won the GOP Promary in Washington State in 1988? I stand by the statement I madeon my blog.

Any xtian that does not condemn these remarks knows nothing about Christ and is a fraud.
I really am surprised that someone hasn't killed Robertson yet, not that I'm advocating that or anything. I'm just saying...

5:13 AM, January 09, 2006  

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