Sunday, January 01, 2006

A short guide to comparative religion

I've seen this various places. My neighbor Jack even had it on a T-shirt.
I just thought that since it's the New Year, it's a time of reflection, and we all want to understand life better - this might just help.

Happy New Year Everyone!

Taoism - Shit happens.
Buddhism - If shit happens, it's not really shit.
Islam - If shit happens, it's the will of Allah.
Protestantism - Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
Judaism - Why does this shit always happen to us?
Hinduism - This shit happened before.
Catholicism - Shit happens because you're bad.
Hare Krishna - Shit happens...rama rama.
TV Evangelism - Send more shit.
Atheism - No shit.
Jehovah's Witness - Knock-knock, shit happens.
Hedonism - There's nothing like a good shit happening.
Christian Science - Shit happens in your mind.
Agnosticism - Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't.
Existentialism - What is shit anyway?
Stoicism - This shit doesn't bother me.
Rastafarianism - LET'S SMOKE THIS SHIT!!!

(copywrite:LA Imprints)

6 Comments:

Blogger Cranky Yankee said...

Crankyism - Don't give me that shit

7:30 PM, January 01, 2006  
Blogger Balloon Pirate said...

Jobuism: You bring dat chit to me, man!
(From Major League)

Yeharr

8:32 PM, January 01, 2006  
Blogger Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

BadJokeIsm: Fuck, I hate shitty T-Shirt/work email/Bumper Sticker humour.

It's emptiness makes me want to kill!

5:16 AM, January 02, 2006  
Blogger Cranky Yankee said...

Ultimate trite.

"I can go from 0 to bitch in 60 seconds."
or
"Don't mess with texas...women."

2:05 PM, January 02, 2006  
Blogger Balloon Pirate said...

I always thought the most trite--or perhaps, least accurate--of the t-shirt/bumper sticker stuff was "I'm 51% Angel, 49% Bitch--don't push it." Generally speaking, I've found that women who display that credo are usually in the 90th percentile when it comes to bitchiness...

Yeharr

6:50 PM, January 02, 2006  
Blogger Muckfoot said...

I've worn a white version of this T shirt for years (pretty worn now). I get stopped by people in airports, wanting to take notes. I think it's actually very educational. Unlike the "I Wish These Were Brains" T shirts that distract one from safe driving...

11:57 AM, May 24, 2013  

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