Methinks They Doth Protest Too Much, Part 2

Hi Everyone! This is Dr. W. David Hager, Jesus's OB-GYN.

Oops! That didn't come out right. Of course the Lord doesn't need an OB-GYN--he is, after all, a man. Just like God.

What I am, is a physician who tends to women, in a way that is pleasing to the Lord. I oppose abortion, contraception, and premarital sex. I believe there is not a sense of inherent equality between men and women. Instead, men are expected to act as benevolent authority figures for the women in their lives.

My views are also pleasing to President Bush, as well. As an appointee to the FDA, I helped to defeat the approval of an over-the-counter emergency contraceptive. Because that's just not the way the Lord wants it.

And even though I was divorced from my wife of thirty-two years, it was because I was too busy doing the Lord's work to attend to my family's needs.

It had nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that I liked to put my pee-pee into her hiney without her consent.

After all, what good is it to be the benevolant protector if you don't get to ram it up her poop chute whenever you want?

Yeharr

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