The only possible presidential speech fantasy in my wildest of daydreams, my oratorical castle in the air, is that one day, for just one measly speech, the president - the man of "mission accomplished," the man who was once asked at a press conference to discuss one of his mistakes and couldn't think of any, the man who is surely the sunniest looker-on-the-bright-side east of Drew Barrymore - would sit behind his Oval Office desk, stare into a TV camera and say: "My fellow Americans, good evening. As if that's possible."
He continues, "We are a divided people, but let us celebrate what we have in common. We don't all worship the same god. Some of us do not believe in a god at all. But the good news is that, thanks to me, we all now believe in the Apocalypse. You're welcome."
That's Sarah Vowel, one of the best reasons to listen to NPR, whose claim to fame so far has been the voice of Violet Parr in "The Incredibles." I especially liked the compare and contrast she's done with Bush vs. Carter, and the lesson learned: Tell the truth in Washington and die. Lie and survive.
Screw all those exoctic locations. The next in the series should be "Survivor: Beltway,"